It's ok to ask for help

Twelve years ago, I checked into a hotel with a plan, but it wasn't for a vacation. I didn't tell anyone how low I was feeling. On the outside, I was enjoying sunshine and pretending everything was fine. But inside? I felt like I was covered in that gross green slime from Ghostbusters. You know, the one that sticks to you no matter what you do? Yeah, it was like that-head to toe, inescapable, crushing. When the day came, I checked into that hotel fully prepared. And guess what? It didn't work. I woke up furious. To this day I have never been so angry. But then, this voice in my head screamed louder than my anger: "you don't want to die, you want relief. And relief is a feeling you need to be alive to feel." It was like a catchy song stuck in my head that wouldn't stop. Over and over" 'Relief is a feeling you have to be alive to feel." So, I checked out of the hotel (and yes, I took the bus home, because as I mentioned I'm a planner and heaven forbid I inconvenience someone with driving my car home if I was dead right?) I reached out to a friend and told them everything. It wasn't easy but eventually, I found the right counselor and for me the right meds. Things got better-slowly but surely. Fast forward to two years ago: I suffered a gut-wrenching loss and that same slimy feeling started creeping back in. But this time, I knew the signs. I knew my thoughts were lying to me, and I got help way sooner. Spoiler alert: I'm still here. Life's pretty good, and I've learned that it won't always be perfect. The real trick? Knowing the steps to take when it isn't. So, here's the takeaway: It took all four of the Ghostbusters to cross their streams to take down the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Even they knew they had to team up to be successful so if you're feeling slimed, remember you are not alone and it's okay to ask for help.