New Patient Story

I was molested at age 10 1/2 by my best friends father while she was in the room then when I finally told my parents my mother blamed me for it. I told them when I was 16 yrs old. I couldn't tell anyone as the time this happened was 1980 and things like this were not discussed like today. Then at 20 yrs old I was date rapped and again when I called the police they told me to shower and wash the clothes and sheets as they didn't have such a thing back then. When I told my parents my dad cried and hugged me but my mother asked me what did I do to cause him to do that. Since I was 10 I would be told by my mother that I could never hurt her like my sister who was pregnant by 18 yrs old did. Then I was always told by her that I would end up just like my sister. When I finally married, I married someone who at times is verbally abusive and emotionally not there for me. I have stayed because in my family no women has ever divorced their partners as the saying goes you made your bed you lie in it. I have pondered what it would be like to divorce if it would be the best thing but I have just come to the conclusion that as long as I live for me and not him I am good. I lost my dad at the age of 53 I was 23 and my mother at the age of 64 I was 27. Both were very hard for me but my father was worse as he was my hero. He never said a bad word about me. Always tried to encourage me. I really miss him daily. Lately I am in a state of not doing what I want for me but doing what is needed of me for family. My sister is paralyized with a trach and her husband who is her main caregiver just passed away in April. We are trying are best her daughter, son and other son and I are all trying to take care of her. I go in the morning before work and stay the night when needed. I really need time for me so I will try to figure that out this month. I have to clean my house myself my husband does not do anything. I also, when at her house clean it. I work full time so not really much time for me. But one day it will all get better I believe in that.